Trusting the Process and Self Validation

I've always been a person who needs external validation. I need someone to tell me that my decisions are good, that the things I've done I've done for the right reasons, that everything I do is ok. In other words, I need permission to change my mind.

For example, when I make changes to my WIP, I feel like I need to tell someone about it and get their feedback on my decision.

That's a super simple example. A deeper one would be asking a certain member of my critique group, who I look up to (I think it's because she's a strong, independent woman), if a change I made in one of my characters still works. Or sending her a text message to get validation on a route I decided to take with one of my characters.

The text conversation left me feeling confused and insecure about my WIP. It made me think I needed to think more, which would mean putting off writing.

This is where my blue mug comes in handy. My blue mug has the phrase "trust the process" on one side and "the universe knows" on the other side.

That's right. The universe does know. I need to trust my instincts. I need to trust my gut. I need to trust the process.

The character in question is my antagonist, by the way. By Laura Baker's definition, the antagonist is the person who enforces change on the protagonist.

My critique group friend reminded me that Laura Baker's method isn't the gospel truth. Ah, another wise message from her. Another reason to look up to her and look to her for advice!

But no. From now on, I'm going to work on validating myself. On telling myself the routes I'm taking with my book are the right ones. Whenever I feel like I need external validation, I'm going to ask myself exactly what am I looking to hear from someone else? And I'll tell myself just that. I learned that from an article on Tiny Buddha.

Characters have a way of revealing themselves through your muse, through the creative process. I don't need to know every in and out of these people. I'll get to know them more and more the more I write.

Which means, WRITING the book. :)

I'm back on track now. Out of my own way and out of my own head. The universe will tell me what this character needs to be like.

Peace and Keep Writing!

Claire L. Fishback


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