Shadows Crept Across the Wall - Campaign Challenge

First Campaign Challenge!

The challenge is to write a flash fiction in 200 words or less beginning with "Shadows crept across the wall." There was extra credit to include the word orange, end with "everything faded", and to use exactly 200 words.

Here's my story!


Shadow Ghosts by Claire L. Fishback (c) 2012

Shadows crept across the wall. The same shadows I’ve seen every night since we moved into this old dump of a house. I haven’t slept for a week.

In the beginning, I tried to convince myself they were nothing. A trick of the eyes in the silent blackness filling my room. I closed my eyes, and knew better, for I no longer see the shadows slipping along the wall and disappearing into the dark corners of the room. Instead, I see the shadows’ faces.

The female frightens me the most. She has a round, purple face. It’s as if she’s held her breath far too long and her skin craves the oxygen she denies herself. Her hair is a mess of greasy tangles. Her eyes are bloodshot. I can smell her, too. That hot, oily smell a terminally ill person exudes. Sweat and inner decay.

The male has an orange moustache. The way he looks at me forces my eyes to stay open.
I watch their shadows drift across the wall and I wonder if I’ll ever get some sleep. I close my eyes.

The female holds a knife above me.

The male licks his lips.

196 Words

Comments

Jess said…
Ooo very freaky!! Suspenseful too! I wish I knew what happened next!! Great job!!

I'm entry #19
Tara Tyler said…
creepy! gripping fear! wonder what happens!
nice job =)
Gwen Gardner said…
Very creepy! Great job. Also, I loved playing with your fish:)
Unknown said…
Loved "The female frightens me the most," and everything about that female. I enjoyed reading this.
RaeAnn said…
Whoa! Very well done! I'm entry 2.
kjmckendry said…
Yikes that was freaky! Great entry!
Carrie Butler said…
I flinched at the end! :) Great job!
David P. King said…
Knife! *shiver* That was awesome! :)
Ann Cory said…
Creative and atmospheric - well done :)
Alyssa said…
Whoa! That was really creepy!! Great job!

I'm #37
Anonymous said…
love this. You have some great images and a great progression! Love the ending, too.
Thanks for the wonderful commente everyone!
Creepy, Claire. Very creepy. Voted for you :)
Unknown said…
Gah. I'd move. You did a great job describing everything! The imagery was fantastic!
Skippy Bo Bippy said…
Great read.. and I think I took the female on a blind date once, that smell thing sounds very familiar. :) Really enjoyed the tone. Thanks for that. +1 follower.
#57
Anonymous said…
Yeah, I wouldn't be sleeping either! Mine is # 71
alexia said…
Yikes! Super scary. Very nice.
Nick Wilford said…
Nightmarish! Love the vivid imagery in this. My advice would be, move again ASAP - if she gets a chance to!
Unknown said…
Ooooo scary. Too freaky for me. Now I'm going to bed with your shadows in my mind. Shame on you. (hehehe) Sweet dreams, or Nightmares? Only I will know for sure. (muhaha)Great idea for your flash fiction. I like it.

By the way, you've been tagged. Check out www.kscollier1.blogspot.com for the questions. This is a way for fellow campaigners to get to know you better.
Anonymous said…
OMG, this a spooky one. Loved it! Awesme description of the purple lady, down to her smell of death. Good luck in the Challenge! (I'm #199)
Unknown said…
I love your ghosts. So human, despite being dead.

#109
Scott Bury said…
Great way to personify the shadows.

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