Houston, We Have a Problem

The problem is this: I am not having any fun writing my story and I can't pinpoint the reason why.

I can make any number of excuses: it's the wrong plot, it's the wrong story to write, I need to outline (I'm not an outliner, maybe I should be?), I don't like what's happening, It's taking too long for the person to get to the exciting stuff... OH, maybe that's the problem.

Then there's the fears: my idea sucks (then I refer to this but don't believe it), my writing sucks (who cares it's a first draft!), there isn't enough here for it to be a whole book, I'm just a hobby writer.

Then there's the tongue lashing from my inner editor/critic (from which the fears come): You suck, you don't have very good ideas, you aren't creative enough, you aren't taking yourself seriously (oh, that one is me), you aren't following your own advice.

I'm wondering how much of all this negativity is because of the stuff going on in my life. In that case, I should be thrilled to sit down to write to get away from all that.

What is it about my story that is causing me to not want to write? That's the big question. If I can answer that, I'll know what to do.

I get hung up on details that may not even be important. I'm a plot-driven writer and I think what I am writing right now is character-driven.

Perhaps I need to return to the original idea. Follow my own compass, not one someone else gave me (though they should both point to true north so maybe that is a bad analogy). Follow my own drum beat. Yeah. That's it.

Keeping my head...blub blub...

Claire L. Fishback


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